


He Dies At The End

by iLibra



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera
Genre: A lot of heartfelt conversations, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Credence's Last Day, Death Cast AU, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Goodbyes, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-explicit character death, They Both Die at the End AU, bucketlist, there's a cute dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 05:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iLibra/pseuds/iLibra
Summary: Death Cast called Credence Barebone at 1:15 AM, because he was going to die today. This is the story of how Credence spends his last day on earth, with his friends, his year-long crush and neighbor and a new companion. A story about loss, hope, life and death.[They Both Die At The End/Death Cast AU]





	He Dies At The End

**Author's Note:**

> Before you go into this: 
> 
> Some terminology:  
> A "decker" is a term coined by the book "They both die at the end" and is used for people who have received their Death Cast call on the day they are going to die.
> 
> Additionally, PLEASE mind the tags and warnings for this fic, because it does contain non-explicit, but very clearly indicated major character death. You have been warned.

Death Cast called Credence Barebone at 1:15 AM, because he was going to die today. His first thought was that this had to be some kind of mistake, some sick prank someone was playing with him. But the longer he sat there on his bed, the more reality started to sink in. He couldn't even remember what was said over the phone, just felt a sort of numb relief that the man had hung up. He vaguely recalled the man on the phone telling him how sorry he was that they were losing such a young life like him and that he went on and on about events he could attend today. Credence had hardly even registered what was coming out of his own mouth as he had confirmed that he understood.

Credence stared at the wall of his room. His entire body felt heavy, immobile. At least that would be one less burden for his mother to take care of, right? He wasn't much use to anyone, anyway, if he was honest. So why did he feel that sting in his chest? There was this small, selfish part in him that didn't want to die just like that. A small part that didn't want to just give up and accept his fate.

Even if he couldn't change anything, couldn't change the fact that he was going to die, he _could_ live his last day however he wanted. Credence knew he would have to say goodbye to his friends and his family, but he couldn't bear having all of the people important to him around all day. When he really thought about it, however, there was one person he really wanted to spend the day with.

He set his alarm earlier than he normally would've - death would make an early riser out of anyone - but attempting to sleep was futile. Instead, Credence sat down at his desk to write a list of things he still wanted to do today. He knew he might not be able to do everything on it, but he could try.

Just after his alarm went off at 5 in the morning, Credence went down to the kitchen to prepare some lunch for his sisters one last time. Credence loved cooking for Modesty and Chastity and unlike his mother, they never complained about the taste, usually even complimenting him. Putting everything in the fridge for his sisters to take later, he put the letter he had worked on during his sleepless night on the kitchen table. A letter to say goodbye and to thank them for everything. It had taken him quite some time to collect the words he wanted to write down. Even though he knew no amount of words would ever be enough to say goodbye, he had to at least try. He didn't have the strength to tell them in person.

Credence was about to leave when he stopped in his tracks. He had to see Modesty one last time, he just had to. He tiptoed up the stairs to her room and opened the door as quietly as humanly possible. Modesty was still sound asleep in her bed, the big plush platypus that Credence had given to her for her birthday squeezed tightly to her chest. The realization hit him like a stack of bricks. Credence would never see her again after today.

He took a deep breath to compose himself. Trying not to get too emotional, he stepped towards her bed, leaned down and kissed her forehead. Before Credence could attempt to escape, Modesty suddenly said "Cre?" and Credence froze in place.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Is it time to get up yet?" she mumbled sleepily.

"No. You can go back to sleep." Credence smiled at her and carded a hand through her hair.

"Okay..." Modesty said, and was asleep again only seconds later. Credence ended up looking at her peaceful sleeping face a few minutes longer than he intended. Credence wasn't sure if he should be grateful for his sister waking up or not. It certainly made going out the front door even harder.

 

\--------------

 

Standing outside his neighbor's house at seven in the morning made Credence nervous like nothing ever had. He knew Percy would be up already, morning person that he was.

Even though his neighbor was 34 and quite a few years older than 18-year-old Credence, they had developed a quick friendship and even if he was only able to admit it recently, he had had a crush on Percy since forever. And because it was his last day and it was all or nothing now, he would ask Percival to spend his last day with him.

After much deliberation, Credence knocked at his door, frantically trying to figure out what he should tell Percival, how he should explain this. The door suddenly opened and Credence was greeted by a surprised-looking Percival. 

"Hey, Credence, how are you?" he said. And how was he supposed to answer that?

"I got the call today." Credence said instead of answering, cutting right to the chase. 

Percival stared at him for a moment, confusion clear and Credence was sure this would be the moment that Percy would ask him why Credence would come to him with something like this, ask why he would burden Percival with that information. He was sure the door would shut in his face any moment now, but it didn't.

"Death Cast?" Percival asked, just to make sure, although they both knew what call Credence was talking about. Credence nodded, unable to form words. Percy stepped aside quickly, motioning for Credence to come in. As soon as the door shut behind them, Credence was enveloped in Percival's arms.

"Credence, I'm- I'm so sorry." Percival whispered, his voice sounding choked up. Credence was baffled. He hadn't been sure how Percival would react, but he hadn't expected this. The genuine sadness in Percival's voice made Credence's throat constrict. If Percy cried, Credence wouldn't be able to help himself. Credence fought every fiber in his body and softly pushed Percival away from him. 

"Percy, it's too early to cry." he said, refusing to look Percival in the eyes, "I want to make the most out of today, you know?" Percival just stared at him for a moment, but then nodded.

"Okay, of course." Percival said, and Credence could see that Percival was trying to compose himself, but seemed to have a hard time doing so. Credence couldn't really tell why he was so calm himself. Maybe in a weird twist of fate, his imminent death would actually help him out in the end. This could be Credence's chance, this could give him the courage he needed. Because what did his stupid insecurities matter if he wouldn't be here for tomorrow anyway? It was now or never. He had to confess to Percival.

"Percy, would you spend today with me?" Credence blurted out instead. He could get to the confessing part later. Percy looked a bit taken aback, but then he smiled at Credence.

"Of course." he said, but after a moment he added, "But, you're sure you don't want to spend it with Newt and Tina?" 

Which was reasonable, considering they were two of his closest friends. Even though Credence and Percival were friends as well, Credence's insecurities had always kept them from becoming anything more than friendly neighbors. While it wasn't like Credence wasn't planning on saying goodbye to Newt and Tina, he was sure they would understand Credence's decision.

"Well, I was hoping we could visit them together, later today. But nothing would make me happier than spending today with you, Percy." There, he said it. Or he had at least said the closest thing to how he was feeling without actually saying it. Now he could only hope for the best. To his relief, Percival smiled again.

"Well then, let's make a plan." Percival said, and led him into the living room. Credence had been here a few times already, but it always felt like stepping into another world with all the books and manuscripts lying around. They sat down on the couch in the living room, knees almost touching, but not quite. Credence remembered the time they had watched a movie together on this couch. It had felt so much like a date, even though Credence knew Percival was probably just being nice. The embarrassment of falling asleep right next to Percival was something he didn't like to remember.

Credence pulled out the crumpled-up note he had written last night, or more precisely this morning. He had already said his goodbyes to his family, even if it was just in letter form. Now the things left on his list were: _say goodbye to Newt and Tina, wear one of Percy's jackets, go to the book store one last time, visit the local shelter to walk one of the dogs and have his first kiss (preferably with Percival)._

When Percy tried to take a look at the list, Credence quickly held it against his chest. He couldn't let him see it just yet. Percival leaned back with an apologetic smile.

"I wrote down some things I would like to do before the end of the day." Credence explained, before he got lost in thought for a moment, thinking about _"the end of the day"_. Would he even make it that far? For all he knew, they could step out of the door and he could suffer a heart attack, get stabbed, or hit by a crashing air plane.

"Okay." he heard Percival say next to him. Looking up at him, Credence could see Percy was trying to look into his face to get his attention. Credence shook his head; now was not the time for thoughts about his death.

"I want to say goodbye to Newt and Tina. I already said goodbye to my family." Credence left out the part that he only did so in form of a letter. Percival didn't need to know that or he might push Credence to talk to his mom properly. Credence had thought about this the longest last night. He didn't want to spend his last day trying to make amends with his mom. He would rather spend it with people that actually cared about him. Percival nodded his head wordlessly, seeming to understand. 

"I wanna go to the bookstore down the street and to the animal shelter," Credence continued. Even though he knew buying a book wouldn't do him any good now, since he won't have a chance to read it, he still wanted to go there. The bookstore always felt like a safe haven to him, like no one could hurt him when he was there.

Credence looked down at the list again, at the words saying, _the animal shelter_. He had never been allowed a pet of any kind, even though he always desperately wanted one. He knew Newt was working there in his free time, so this would be the perfect opportunity. He could see Newt _and_ pet a dog.

"Sounds good to me, let's go." Percy said, abruptly standing up and bouncing slightly, like he had to put his excess energy to use, but Credence wasn't done here yet.

"Could we... eat some breakfast first? I haven't eaten anything yet, and I've been up pretty much all night." Credence explained. After all, he would have all the time in the world to sleep later.

"Ah, yes, of course." Percival said, looking almost embarrassed that he hadn't thought of that himself. They moved to the kitchen and Percival threw together a hefty breakfast with Credence's help and they ate in companionable silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

"There's something else I wanted to ask." Credence said once their plates were almost empty. Percival looked up at him, prompting him to continue. "Can I have one of your jackets? Just... for today." Credence mumbled. This had been one of the first things on his list, but now he was starting to doubt himself again. Wait, no. Now was not the time to have doubts, it was now or never. Percival was too nice to reject him on his last day on earth, right?

Percival looked surprised for a moment, but then broke out into a smile, and Credence let out a puff of air. "I have the perfect idea. Wait here." Percival said and went to go up the stairs.

A few minutes later, Percival came down again, with something in his hands that Credence had never thought he'd get a chance to see. Percival held out the blue-and-white piece of clothing to Credence, who took it with careful hands.

"It's my old varsity jacket." Percival said, like that wasn't obvious already. Credence didn't know what to say, didn't know what to think. Never in his life would he have imagined he would get the chance to wear Percival's varsity jacket. There were times in his life, late at night, when Credence allowed himself one of his self-indulgent daydreams, he had concocted the perfect boyfriend. Someone that would have held his hand and walked him to his classes, kissed his forehead and given him his varsity jacket to wear. Because that's what boyfriends do. 

Of course that was nothing more than a silly dream that Credence knew would never come true, but now that he sat here, holding Percival's jacket in his hands, he felt like crying. Out of happiness, because a simple thing he had wanted just became reality, and out of devastation, because what kind of god would be so cruel to give him something like this, only to rip it from him again in what could be only a few hours, _if he was lucky._

"Thank you, Percy." was all Credence could say before he hastily put the jacket on. The shoulders were a bit too wide and the sleeves a bit too long, yet Credence felt like nothing had ever fit better in his life. He couldn't help but smile, looking at his hands covered by the too-long sleeves.

Stepping out of the front door a few minutes later was the most terrifying thing Credence ever had to do. Even Percival's presence right behind him couldn't soothe Credence. Going out there, into this world, knowing that every step you took might as well be your last made him freeze up. He was rooted to the ground, unable to move. He was trapped, until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Credence." Percival said and Credence wanted nothing more than to believe him, even though he knew nothing would ever be alright again. He just wanted to believe Percival. Just for now. 

With a deep breath, he finally stepped out the door. He had squeezed his eyes shut, but nothing happened, so he opened them again to the bright, sunny outside world. _This is a good day to die_ , Credence thought somberly.

And despite all of his fears, in a rare moment of bravery, he took Percy's hand in his and to his surprise he felt Percival squeeze it. If only Credence could tell him why Percy was so important to him.

"I'm scared, Percy. Really scared." Credence admitted. He had no idea what today would bring, but he knew one thing: it would be his last, no matter what happened. You couldn't change your fate, you couldn't change anything once you got the call from Death Cast. No matter what all these romance and science fiction movies were trying to tell you, Death Cast has never been wrong before and thinking you would be that first rare case was undeniably stupid.

Percival let out a breath and squeezed Credence's hand again. "I know, Credence, but let's make the most out of today." Percival said and gently tugged at his hand. "Like you said, it's too early for tears."

Credence nodded absentmindedly. Percival was right; stressing over how he might die wasn't doing anyone any good, especially not today.

 

\------------

 

Their first stop was the bookstore, just like Credence had suggested. Ever since he was a little kid, Credence would come here to find some shelter when their house became unbearable. When he needed room to breathe and a fictional world to flee to, he knew where to go.

The owner was a very kind old man who never minded when Credence picked up book after book, reading every description, wondering how the plot would develop, but not able to tell for sure most times. In the beginning, Credence had felt incredibly guilty, coming into the store just to stare longingly at all the books he knew he couldn't afford and that his mother wouldn't buy for him even if he begged. 

No matter how many times Credence had come in here without buying anything, the owner always greeted him with a kind smile. Credence remembered the first time he saved up his pocket money and how proud he felt that he could buy a book from the kind owner for the very first time. The book he got, the first volume of a very popular series about a boy at a magical school, was tattered, because of the hundreds of times he had read it again and again, until the day he finally had enough spare money to get the second volume.

Percy had held his hand the whole way to the bookstore, not seeming to mind the weird looks some people were giving them. Credence wanted to extricate his hand from Percival's and never let go again at the same time. Credence would've never imagined he could have this one day, and now that this was his last day, he was already missing it. And if he was gripping Percival's hand a bit too tightly, he was blaming the fear of running into some imminent danger.

Stepping into the book store, Credence was overcome with a weird sense of nostalgia, thinking back to all the hours he had spent here alone, going through book after book to flee his nagging thoughts. A lot of those thoughts had involved his mother screaming at him to be more useful, but just as many had revolved around Percival and all the things Credence wished to tell him but couldn't. So having that very person with him now, Credence was incredibly nervous. Credence would have to tell Percival how he was feeling today, or he would never get the chance again, but that was easier said than done. Nevertheless, inviting Percival into his safe haven already felt like a huge step.

The owner greeted him with a gentle smile like he always did. There was no reason to tell him why he was here today and burden him with the fate of a decker he barely knew, although Credence wondered if the owner would ask himself why Credence stopped coming to the store sometime in the future. A part of him hoped that the owner would just assume that he'd moved away. He liked the idea that he wouldn't be dead to everybody, as odd as that sounds. Even just as a figment of a nice old man's imagination.

Credence had scoured every section this bookstore had to offer in the past, save for the erotic novels. Not only was he too embarrassed, but he also just wasn't interested in that. Letting go of Percy's hand for the moment, Credence wandered through the different sections of the bookstore.

Doing what he always did, he took out all the books with interesting sounding titles and read through the descriptions. Something about a company that could alter your memories and a boy who wanted nothing more than to forget, then something about a girl that could talk to ghosts, something about aliens and ants and the end of the world, something about a boy looking for his boyfriend and the universe shrinking while he is on his search.

That last book had piqued his interest, so Credence started reading through the first couple of pages. But not wanting to be any more rude than he already was, he closed the book again, staring at the cover instead. He would never get the chance to read it, just like he had never gotten the chance to read so many other books in his life.

"Found something interesting?" Percival's voice surprised him right next to him and the book almost fell from Credence's hands.

"Uhm, maybe, I don't know." Credence mumbled, looking up at Percival. With a smile, Percival held out his hand, prompting Credence to show him the book. Credence complied and watched Percival as he read over the description himself, wondering what he was thinking of the book. It hit Credence right then that the main character of the novel was gay and that had been one of the reasons it had seemed so interesting to him. What would Percival think of Credence for picking out a book like that? But if Percival thought any less of him now, he didn't let it show, because he simply smiled at him after he finished reading.

"Are you ready to go, or do you wanna stay a bit longer?" Percival asked him, the book still in his hands.

"Uhm, we can go." Credence said with a small smile on his face. It felt good having had some time for himself in his favorite bookstore, but they really should get going now.

To Credence's surprise, instead of walking to the door, Percival made his way to the checkout with the book Credence had been looking at. Credence hurried after him, trying to explain that he couldn't buy this, but Percival just waved him off.

Stepping out of the store after Percival bought the book against Credence's protests, Percival held out the bag for Credence to take. Credence, however, didn't move.

"You wanted that one, right?" Percival asked, suddenly seeming unsure of himself.

"No, I mean, yes, but, you know..." Credence cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. How many times had he imagined Percival buying something nice for him for Christmas or for his birthday, but now that it actually happened, Credence couldn't stop his mind from thinking it was too late. He would never get to read this book, he would never be celebrating anything with Percival. No more birthdays, Christmases or New Year's Eves. He had missed his chance. He could feel the tears of regret stinging at the corners of his eyes.

"Thank you, Percival, but... I won't be able to read this." Credence mumbled eventually. When he looked up at Percival, he couldn't tell if Percy had realized this before or not. He just looked a bit confused. It would've almost been cute in a different situation.

Credence, struck by an idea, gently pushed the bag with the book back towards Percival. "Percy, can you... read this for me?" he asked. Of course he didn't mean right now, not even today and he was sure Percival understood that. Percival returned his smile, if somewhat embarrassed-looking.

"Of course." Percival said and let out a breath before he continued, "Where to next, Credence?"

Credence pulled out his list, even though he already had it memorized by now.

"I wanna say goodbye to Tina. She should be at home, I think." Credence said before he pocketed his list again.

They walked to Tina's house, hand in hand again, like Percival was afraid Credence could get lost if he wasn't careful and maybe that wasn't too far from the truth. A lot of things could happen if they weren't careful, but it didn't take them long to get to their destination.

Tina has been one of his best friends ever since elementary school. When no one was willing to play with _"the weird church kid"_ , she was there. Newt and her were the only people who ever really made an effort to get to know him for who he was and Credence would forever be grateful for that.

Tina was currently training to become a police officer. Lately she'd been pulling a lot of all-nighters to study, so Credence hadn't seen a lot of her in the past few months. Now he regretted not spending more time with her. Credence knew, though, that even if he had all the time in the world, he would have never been prepared to say goodbye to Tina. How are you supposed to prepare for something like that anyway? You always heard all kinds of stories about how deckers spend their last day, but you never want to think about it yourself.

Not wanting to make their day any more depressing than it already was, Credence did his best to cheer up in front of Percival, talking to him about anything that came to mind. They both noticed rather quickly, however, how hard it could be trying to avoid the topic of tomorrow, next week or next month, when you knew one of you wouldn't be around then anymore. Credence wanted to talk about the movie he had been looking forward to seeing at the theater, only to realize that he wouldn't get a chance to do that. He tried to focus on the movies he had already seen instead.

Finally standing in front of Tina's door, Credence couldn't will his hand up to ring the bell. Before he got rooted to the spot in indecision, though, Percy simply knocked on the door. It only took a few seconds for the door to open to reveal a surprised Tina. The first thing she took in was Credence, then the jacket he was wearing. When she looked up at Percival and then down to their still joined hands, she broke out into a pleased grin and Credence could only blush.

Of course Tina knew everything about Credence's crush on Percival. She was probably assuming Credence finally had had the guts to confess, which wasn't too far from the truth aside from the fact that he hadn't actually gotten to that part yet. He would get there eventually, for sure. Tina looked so deeply pleased, but the circumstances that brought about all this... Tina wouldn't even dare to imagine. 

"Hey, Cre, Percy. Come on in." Tina said, opening the door wider, not even bothering to ask why they were here before letting them in.

Everything was just like it always was when he visited Tina. She asked them if they would like something to drink, which they declined. She walked up to her room, expecting her guests to follow.

"I'll give you a moment." Percival said, indicating that he would wait outside the door.

"So did you finally tell him?" Tina asked in an excited whisper, as soon as they were alone in the room. Tina had always urged Credence to confess his feelings to Percival, saying there was no time like the present. If only Credence had known how painfully right she had been about that. Why hadn't he spoken to Percy sooner? Why did he let all of his doubts control his mind? Why had he not risked more before, and why had he still not told Percy, now that his time was running out?

He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't sit here and calmly tell Tina that he was going to die today when she looked so happy, thinking he had finally confessed to Percival. Tina looked confused and only then did Credence realize he had started crying. Tina was across the room and pulled Credence into her arms in mere seconds.

"Cre, what happened? I thought-" Tina started, but Credence didn't want to hear it. Imagining what could be was more heartbreaking than the truth.

"I'm dying, Tina." Credence wept, trying to take in big gulps of air and failing. This morning he had been so calm, almost ready to accept his fate, but he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Tina again, of leaving her alone.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Tina asked, still confused, but her voice clearly starting to tremble. Credence couldn't tell if it already dawned on her what he meant.

"I got the call from Death Cast." Credence continued through his tears, burying his face further into Tina's shoulder. He felt Tina squeeze him tighter, now openly crying, too.

"That- that can't be. There must have been some mistake!" Tina tried to argue, albeit weakly. They both knew Death Cast doesn't make mistakes. Accepting that seemed to be harder for Tina than it was for Credence himself. Dying seemed to be be harder on the people around you than it was for yourself. The following conversation wasn't easy for either of them, though.

Tina blamed herself for not spending more time with Credence. Credence tried to reassure her that no one could have known this would happen, that it was not her fault. Tina insisted that she shouldn't have studied so much, but Credence just shook his head.

"You're going to be an amazing police officer, Tina, and that's all that counts." Credence said with a smile and tears in his eyes which only helped to make Tina cry even harder than before.

After what felt like a thousand more tears from both of them, they calmed down again. Well, as they were able to, under these circumstances. Tina carefully took his face in both of her hands "The question remains, have you told Percival how you feel?" she asked after a long moment of silence. Credence couldn't look her in the eyes. He certainly wasn't proud of the answer.

"Not yet." He whispered. That should have been the first thing he did when he went to Percy this morning, but for some reason it hadn't been. Even with death just around the corner, Credence still hadn't managed to tell Percy how he really felt.

"You _have_ to tell him, Credence. Promise me." Tina urged him. Credence titled his head back, examining the ceiling. He knew Tina was right, he knew it was now or never, and yet, Credence was already happy that Percival agreed to spend the day with him. He wouldn't know what to do if Percival rejected him, leaving him alone for the rest of his last day.

"You're going to tell him right now, or I won't let you leave this house." Tina said. Even though her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, she still had this vibe about her that didn't leave any room for arguments. Credence took a deep breath, this was not how he had imagined this going, but he knew Tina was right. He had to do this.

"Okay," was all he said before Tina suddenly got up. She practically ripped the door open, startling Percival who had seemed to be deep in thought, leaning against the wall.

Tina pointed towards the room, urging a confused Percival inside before closing the door again, leaving Percival and Credence alone in her room. Percival looked at him with concern. He might've been able to tell how much Credence had been crying just by looking at him.

"What's the matter?" Percival asked, sensing that something was different from before. Credence vaguely gestured for him to sit down on the bed next to him and Percival complied.

"There's a reason why I wanted to spend today with you, Percy." Credence started, because he wasn't sure how to phrase this. Percy continued to look at him with endless patience, giving Credence the strength to continue.

"Ever since you moved in next to us and we talked for the first time... I've had a crush on you." Credence finally got out. He did it, the thing that he wanted to do for so long, but could never find the courage to do. The thing that he desperately wanted to do all day, but just couldn't. It might not have been the most straight-forward confession, but Credence was sure Percival would understand. At least he could hope. He had no idea how Percival would react and he couldn't see it in his expression either, since Credence was staring a hole into the space between them.

And suddenly there was a hand on his cheek and Credence looked up into Percival's dark eyes.

"Credence... I'm so sorry." Percival said and Credence felt like all the air had been pushed from his body. Was this how he was going to die? Suffocating because his lungs refused to transport the air through his body anymore?

Credence was about to pull back when Percy cupped his other cheek in his hand. Credence's tears were flowing down his face freely now. He had a hard time breathing through his sobs. Was this the moment where he would be abandoned for good?

"I wish I would have realized this sooner." Percival whispered before their foreheads touched and Credence could hear it now; Percival was crying too. Credence realized, Percival wasn't apologizing for not returning his feelings. He was apologizing, because, just like Credence, he regretted all the time they had lost and would not be able to make up in just one day, and Credence couldn't even tell if this made it better or worse.

He fell forward into Percival's arms, holding onto his shirt for dear life, quite literally. He didn't want to ever let go of Percival again. He wanted to stay like this forever and not think about today, not think about the fact that he was going to die today, no matter what they did. But Credence knew, however long they stayed like this, it couldn't last forever. They had to keep going.

Credence softly pushed Percival away from him, but kept his hands on his shirt. The expression on Percival's face was indescribable for a moment until it softened into a smile, just for Credence. 

"I love you, Credence." Percival whispered, stroking his thumb over Credence's tear-soaked cheek. How long Credence had wished and dreamed to hear those words from Percival's mouth. And now, he felt more like crying, and he would have, if he had had any more tears left in him. But instead, he smiled. Despite everything that was lost, he also felt happy. He wouldn't let the fact that he was a decker ruin this for him, no matter what.

And of course, it was at that exact moment that Credence's stomach decided to growl at an almost indecent volume. They stared at each other in shock for a moment and then couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Are you guys hungry, by any chance?" Tina said from the door, startling them both. Percival tentatively inched a bit away from Credence, but Tina grinned at them knowingly, nonetheless.

When they made their way down the steps, Credence gently pushed Tina's shoulder, whispering "How much did you hear?" but Tina only looked at him innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was downstairs making lunch." Tina answered, fluttering her eyelashes. She was so clearly lying, but Credence knew It was no use arguing with her.

Walking into the kitchen revealed a table full of pancakes with all kinds of delicious fruits, maple syrup, and everything else you could wish for. It truly smelled like heaven. _"Bit early for that,"_ Credence thought, before something in his chest constricted. He didn't want to think about anything to do with _after_ either. He felt a cold certainty that there _wouldn't_ be an after. He wasn't sure which possibility scared him more.

"I know, maybe it's a bit too sweet for lunch, but I thought, since you like pancakes so much..." Tina trailed off, tears in her eyes, but she was still smiling.

"Thank you, Tina." Credence said, touching her shoulder before he sat down next to Percival at the table. Credence couldn't be happier, eating lunch with his best friend and his year-long crush one last time. Credence and Tina couldn't help but laugh at the disgusted face Percival made when Credence poured what looked like a full bottle of maple syrup on his share of pancakes. Percival shook his head in disbelief, but they could all see he was holding in a laugh.

When they were all done, it was obvious that Tina didn't want to let them out of the house, but they all knew they had to go out there eventually.

"So, what're your plans?" Tina asked, instead of begging them to stay.

Credence pulled out the crumpled piece of paper again. "I wanted to go see Newt at the animal shelter and see if I can pet one of the dogs. And, well..." Credence trailed off before he held the list towards Tina, pointing at the last thing on it. Percival didn't need to know about that yet. Tina's eyes widened for a moment before she chuckled softly.

"What are you two laughing about?" Percival asked, trying to lean over to get a look at the list, but Credence quickly put it away.

"Nothing important," Credence said with a grin. It wouldn't be long until they got to that point, hopefully. Percival simply shrugged it off. Arguing with Credence on his last day was out of the question.

When they got to the front door to leave, Tina pulled Credence in a hug so tight, Credence was afraid he would die right then and there. Just like he had already done with Percival today, Credence tried to gently push Tina away, telling her that they needed to go. Tina reluctantly complied, stepping towards Percival and giving him a hug as well, whispering something in his ear that was impossible for Credence to hear. Credence wondered if she gave Percival the old _"Hurt him and I'll hurt you."_ speech even though it would be rather pointless today, if you asked Credence. There was no scenario in which Credence would get out of this unscathed.

"Goodbye," Credence said with a wave once they were down the steps. He saw tears coursing down Tina's cheeks again, but she waved back at him nonetheless. Credence stood still for a long moment after the door had closed.

"Well, that could have gone worse." Credence said and took Percival's hand back into his. It already felt so natural, now that they had their feelings sorted out. It was like their hands just belonged together and when Percival tugged at his hand with a smile, Credence felt like they could conquer anything.

\-----------

Credence had never actually been to the animal shelter before, even though Newt had been working there for a while now. His mother had never allowed any kinds of animal in their house, so why would he go there and get his hopes up? He knew, though, how much Newt loved it there, and he was never able to stop talking about all the things he encountered there. Credence had always loved listening to Newt's stories, so visiting the place he always spoke so fondly of felt great.

When they got there, Credence spotted Newt right away. He was crouched down in front of one of the cages, in the middle of giving a beautiful black Labrador a thorough belly rub. The animal looked like it was in doggy heaven right now.

"Seems like he really likes you." Credence spoke up, startling Newt a bit. Newt let out a breath and got up, turning towards Credence with a smile.

"What can I say? Fluffy here demands a lot of attention." Newt said. Seeing Newt so in his element, surrounded by what he loved, made a warm feeling of contentment spread through Credence.

Without thinking much about it, he stepped forward and pulled Newt into a tight hug. Though the occasional hug wasn't unheard of, Newt was generally not one for physical contact, but today definitely felt like one of those occasions. 

Newt understandably seemed a bit taken aback, hesitating a moment before he hugged Credence back. Credence couldn't help but smile for some reason. He tried to smooth out his expression when he pulled away to look at Newt, who was looking a bit embarrassed. Newt smiled back at him nonetheless. Only then did his gaze fall on Percival standing behind them and they greeted each other with a small nod.

"I got the call from Death Cast today." Credence said, cutting right to the chase and Newt's expression fell in the fraction of a second. Credence couldn't bear seeing his friend's smile fall like that, so he looked down at the floor.

"Credence, I-" Newt started, but it was clear in his voice that he couldn't finish and for some reason Credence could only smile sadly at that. With everything that had happened today, it was nice to see that his friends seemed to care so much about him. It was a weird kind of comfort.

"It's okay." Credence said, although they both knew it was not. It would never be okay and Credence wondered for a moment if it would have been better if Death Cast had never let him know that he was going to die today. He wondered how the world had been like before Death Cast started calling people on their death day, before people were still awake at their own funerals, before everyone had a chance to say goodbye to their beloved friends and family. But like everything today, lamenting about what could have been was doing nobody any good.

"No, it's not okay." Newt said, the rasp in his voice painfully clear. Credence looked up and saw Newt trying to wipe his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. Credence could see he was trying to steady himself, albeit failing that attempt. Credence wished he knew the right words to say to Newt. Was it okay? No, it wasn't. Was everything going to be alright? Probably, but that couldn't be what Newt wanted to hear right now, that was for sure.

"I'm sorry, Newt." Credence said eventually, because that was the truth. He was sorry that they couldn't spend any more time together. He was sorry that they came to him last, knowing that Credence could have died at any point before they reached the animal shelter. And he was sorry that he had to make Newt so incredibly sad with this news. He could do nothing but hold Newt close for a little while.

"This isn't fair," Newt said after a long moment and Credence could only smile again at the fact that Tina had expressed the same kind of sentiment. No, it wasn't fair, but what could they do about it?

"I know." Credence said for a lack of anything better to say. Newt took a step back, looking tortured, unwilling to move away from Credence. 

Fluffy, probably feeling neglected, demanded both of their attention again, bumping his nose against Credence's leg. Smiling, Credence bent down to scratch Fluffy behind the ears. The dog now had Credence's undivided attention and looked at him with adoration and excitement. You could almost think he was looking hopeful. Credence wondered how many people had come by to pet Fluffy, just to leave him here at the shelter after all. Credence also wondered for a moment what it would be like to have Death Cast for animals. Would little children be able to cope with the death of their beloved pets better or not?

"Do you want to take Fluffy out for a walk? I couldn't find the time yet." Newt asked him and Credence looked up in surprise.

"Could I do that?" he asked.

"Of course. There's a lot of volunteers taking our dogs for a walk. They usually take them in bulks, but I'll make an exception for you." Newt said with a smile on his face, although it was tinged with sadness. Credence could see that Newt was trying to help get Credence at least a little closer to a pet of his own.

"I would love that." Credence said, "You want to come with me for a walk?" he said to Fluffy who answered with an excited bark that made all of them laugh. Newt got everything ready for them to head out - attaching the leash to Fluffy and giving Credence some treats for the way - but, just like Tina, Newt was reluctant to let Credence go.

"I'm going to miss you, Cre." Newt said, fresh tears welling up in his eyes. They didn't talk about the possibility of Credence bringing Fluffy back to the shelter, both knowing that it was just as possible that Percival would bring him back alone. Even though no one wanted to think about it, they just left the question unanswered for now.

"I'm going to miss you, too." Credence said and they hugged one last time. Credence knew they had to go now or he wouldn't be able to let go again. He saw the sad look on Newt's face before he turned to leave with Percival. 

At first, Fluffy was following right behind them, but ultimately decided he wanted to walk Credence instead and took the lead. Credence could only smile at the dog, wondering if he would ever have gotten a dog later in his life if he had gotten the chance. If so, Fluffy would have definitely been his first choice. The Labrador just seemed so affectionate and already so fascinated by Credence that he would have loved to have Fluffy in his life. But of course that was never going to happen.

"Where do you want to go?" Percival asked him, casually taking Credence's hand that wasn't holding the leash, the book they had bought at the beginning of the day still securely in the bag in Percival's other hand.

"We should go to the park." Credence said with a smile. He was going to ask Percival about the last thing on his list there, he decided. After all, Percival had already told him he returned his feelings, so there was nothing to fear, right? And yet, in the back of his head, Credence couldn't shut out the voice that wondered if they would even make it to the park and to the point Credence so desperately hoped for.

"Lead the way, then." Percy said with a smile of his own. To Credence's slight surprise, they made it to the park without any interruptions, making idle small talk on the way and both enjoying Fluffy's company.

"Did you ever think about getting a pet, Percy?" Credence asked when they walked under the shade of the nearby trees. Percival seemed to ponder the question for a moment.

"Not really, but I gotta admit, Fluffy here is pretty adorable." he said as rubbed the dog between the ears as the animal ambled between them. Percival looked at Fluffy for a moment longer contemplatively. 

"Maybe I'll adopt him. What do you think?" he asked and looked at Credence, like he had any say in that matter and Credence appreciated that. It sounded like Credence could still be part of that future, even though both of them knew that he wouldn't be.

"I think Fluffy would like that, wouldn't you?" Credence asked the dog and bent down to scratch his head. The animal seemed to agree with Credence, panting happily and nuzzling Credence's face.

They continued walking for a little bit until they reached a park bench in a more secluded area of the park. It seemed perfect for some much needed privacy. They sat down, Fluffy resting his head on Credence's knee and they simply watched the beautiful scenery around them.

"It's so peaceful here, I never even realized." Credence said, smiling. He didn't even notice Percival was looking at him until he turned his head again. Percival put a hand on his cheek, stroking it with his thumb just like he had done before, when Credence's face was streaked with tears. Credence pulled away for just a moment to pull out the list that he had been carrying around all day. He still couldn't believe they had actually gotten to the very end of it before anything had happened to him. Well, almost, there was still one thing left to ask of Percival.

"There is one last thing I wanted today." Credence said, but couldn't get out what he wanted to ask, so he pushed the paper towards Percival instead, pointing at the last thing on his list:

_Have my first kiss (preferably with Percival)_

At first Percival looked surprised, like he had been so often today, but then he smiled and let out a small laugh as he took both of Credence's hands in his.

"Credence..." he said, "Would you be my boyfriend?" Percival asked, to Credence's surprise. Apparently, Percival wanted to do this right, no matter how little time they might have left. A warm feeling spread through Credence's stomach at the question.

"Yes, nothing would make me happier." Credence answered, new tears gathering in his eyes that Percival promptly but carefully kissed away, making Credence giggle. When Percival pulled back slightly, Credence could feel it. This was the moment he had been waiting for, maybe ever since he met Percival for the first time.

They both leaned in at the same time, almost crashing into each other, but their lips met at just the right time. Credence could feel Percival's barely noticeable stubble against his chin, could feel his rough lips against his own soft ones. It was like nothing Credence had ever experienced.

It was by far not a perfect kiss. Credence didn't quite know how to move right, or if he should put his hands somewhere and their noses kept bumping into each other. But all of this imperfection in itself was perfect to him, because it felt so real, so raw and honest, and that was everything Credence could have wished for today. He pulled back for just a moment to catch his breath and Percival looked at him with concern. Credence just dove right back in. He needed this kiss with the same need he had for air to breathe.

When their first kiss had been careful and slow, this one was full of passion, like they both wanted to show what they couldn't communicate with words. Credence couldn't hear anything over his rapid heartbeat drumming in his ears.

The kiss should have been full of promise for more to come, but instead it was full of sadness, because they both knew this could not only be their first, but also last kiss and they could do nothing about it. The loss of the relationship they might have had could be felt in their trembling hands, their ragged breaths, and their beating hearts. Credence tried to grab Percy by the shirt, never wanting to let him go. It didn't even matter to them that they were in public. Credence hadn't seen any people coming by before, so he doubted they would make an appearance now of all times.

In this moment, Credence felt both invincible and incredibly fragile at the same time. No matter how hard he tried to turn his brain off and just enjoy the moment, Credence couldn't overlook how full of potential this kiss was, how he could actually picture what could have been if he wasn't going to die today. Tears were now flowing freely over his cheeks.

After what felt like hours, but in reality couldn't have been more than a few minutes, Percival pulled back and looked at him with endless adoration, then pulled him into a hug, tucking Credence's head under his chin.

"I love you, Percy." Credence said, because he had to. He had to actually speak those words for both of them to hear. He could almost hear Percival's smile.

"I love you, too." he simply said, making Credence's heart beat even more rapidly in his chest. He would have never tired of hearing Percival say that, he was sure. He wouldn't get a chance to tire of hearing it, either.

After a while they settled down next to each other again and Credence let out a content sigh. "I'm so glad I could finish my list. Thank you for spending today with me." Credence said, smiling up at Percival's sorrowful face. He didn't need to ask why he looked so sad, he only wished he didn't have to be the cause of it.

"The day doesn't have to be over yet. Let's get some dinner somewhere. Or we could go home and I could cook something for us." Percival said, sounding like he had trouble breathing. They both knew it was a miracle Credence had made it this far into the day. Making plans for dinner seemed so far out of his reach. He could see the sky starting to get darker already, though, tinging everything in a beautiful dark orange glow.

"That sounds nice." Credence said, feeling a rush of contentment course through his body. He closed his eyes for just a moment, the exhaustion from being up and about for so long starting to creep into his bones.

If he had paid more attention, he might have seen the man approaching them sooner. But as it happened, he didn't notice anything was off until Fluffy started growling at his feet.

Credence slowly opened his eyes and took in a sharp breath. The man suddenly standing a couple of feet away from their bench was tense and shaking. His ragged breaths could be heard even with the distance between them. It took Credence a moment too long to recognize what he was holding, pointing at them with a trembling hand: a gun.

Everything in Credence froze. He didn't know what to do, how to react. Why was this man pointing a gun at them? Why did they decide to go to this secluded area where no one could see them or hear them scream for help?

"G-give me your w-wallets." The man stammered. "NOW!" he screamed when he didn't get a response. 

Percival slowly stood up and the guy immediately pointed the barrel at him. This person was way too nervous, neither of them could possibly know what he was willing to do with that gun.

"Okay. Okay, we'll do what you say and no one has to get hurt, alright?" Percival tried to reason with the gunman. The guy frantically looked around, like he was afraid he would have to make a run at any moment.

"Hurry up!" The man hissed, becoming impatient. Percival put up his hands for the guy to see in a show of deference. 

"I'm going to pull out my wallet, okay?" Percival said so that the man wouldn't misinterpret his actions. He slowly and deliberately reached for his wallet in his back pocket. The guy nervously shifted his weight from one leg to the other, keeping the gun pointed at Percival, not giving them any space to breathe.

Credence leaned forward slightly, attempting to pull out his own wallet, but the gunman didn't seem to like that movement, suddenly pointing the gun at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he spat out and Credence could barely keep himself from recoiling.

"I-I just-" Credence whispered, because he didn't know, he didn't know what to do. How could they calm this situation down? What should they do? Fluffy didn't seem too happy with the whole situation either, now openly growling and barking at the man in front of them.

"Shut up, you stupid dog! Make him shut up!" the man screamed at them, violently waving the gun around. Credence could see Percy trying to inch closer to Credence, to get in front of him somehow. Credence wanted to push him away. Just because Percival didn't receive the call today didn't mean he was invincible.

Credence tried his best to calm Fluffy down with a hand on his back, but it proved futile when the animal lurched up, trying to stop the guy from threatening his new owners.

Credence could see everything clearly: Fluffy jumping forward, the guy pointing the gun right at the animal. He could see himself jumping up, yanking at Fluffy's leash, screaming for the man not to hurt him.

A single gunshot rang through the air, deafening in Credence's ears. So many things were all happening at once and didn't seem to happen at all.

The color of the sky changing from orange to gray. The sharp pain in his chest spreading out. He could hear footsteps running away, Percival screaming his name, Fluffy barking miserably. There was a frantic voice over his head, someone holding Credence in his arms, but then there was nothing but darkness, peace and quiet.

Emotions flickering, voices quieting down, colors fading from existence. And then it was over.

 

\--------------------

 

Death Cast did not call Percival Graves, because he wasn't going to die today. Having lost Credence after the day they had spent together, however, almost made him wish he did get a call. 

Part of him did die today.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading!! I really poured my heart and soul into this fanfic, so I really hope you enjoyed it!! I would be absolutely overjoyed to hear what you think about it in the comments!
> 
> The concept for this fic is based on the book "They both die at the end" by Adam Silvera, which I very highly recommend if you want to get your heart ripped out :')  
> Some horrible part of my brain wanted me to write a Gradence fic with this concept and since it wouldn't let me go I thought the Fantastic Beasts Calender project would be the perfect opportunity. I'm glad I could be part of this really cool project :D
> 
> As always, my loyal editor [tsund0ku_library](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tsund0ku_library) deserves my eternal gratitude for editing this in record time so this could be posted in time for the calender <3
> 
> Also, my eternal respect and 100 gummi points for the person who can guess all the books referenced in the bookstore part of this fic :D
> 
> Feel free to talk to me on [tumblr](http://ilibra.tumblr.com) <3


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